Trump Appears at US Open with Makeup on Hand, Nursing Bruise
President Trump was recently observed at the U.S. Open with his right hand covered in makeup, attempting to conceal a discoloration that has been visible for months. Despite the visible makeup and the speculation about his health, the White House has maintained that the bruise is a result of minor soft tissue irritation and frequent handshaking. Trump’s swollen ankles have also raised concerns, which the White House attributes to chronic venous insufficiency. The former president has assured the public that he has “NEVER FELT BETTER” and is “mentally and physically sharper than ever before.”
John Q. Hosedrinker