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Critics Sink Trump’s Bonkers Battleship Plans: ‘Got The Design From G.I. Joe’
So, the talk around the water cooler (or, you know, the internet) is all about Trump’s supposed battleship designs. Apparently, he fancies himself a naval architect now. He even described himself as a “very aesthetic person” when discussing the project, which is, well, something. The whole idea is getting a massive roasting online, and frankly, I can see why. It seems the general consensus is that these plans are less “cutting-edge naval design” and more “a child’s drawing with a hefty dose of ego.”
Each of these proposed battleships is slated to feature a gold figurehead of an underage girl, which is, to put it mildly, deeply disturbing. The addition of the former president’s name to the ship’s design just amplifies the sense of absurdity and, frankly, the unsettling nature of the whole proposal. It’s like he’s trying to leave a legacy, regardless of whether it’s earned or, you know, morally sound. It feels like everything he touches turns into a monument to his ego, and these proposed battleships are looking like no exception.
The designs are reportedly packed with futuristic weaponry: rail guns, laser beams, hypersonic missiles – the whole shebang. It sounds like something straight out of a science fiction movie, or maybe a particularly enthusiastic Saturday morning cartoon. The comparisons to G.I. Joe are rampant, and honestly, even G.I. Joe had a certain grounding in reality. At least they seemed to understand the basics of military hardware! Some people even suggested the design inspiration might have come from a Michael Bay movie.
The problem, as many critics have pointed out, is that battleships are largely obsolete in modern naval warfare. They’re big, slow, and incredibly vulnerable to modern weaponry. Carriers and smaller, more agile vessels are the name of the game these days. A battleship in the current military landscape is like bringing a horse-drawn carriage to a Formula 1 race. One person specifically pointed to the Zumwalt class destroyers as a relevant point of reference, and how those were plagued with massive cost overruns and technical issues.
And then there’s the whole issue of the “Trump Class” itself, and the fact that building new ships requires Congressional approval. Do you think Congress is going to approve of a project that’s essentially a vanity project with a potential price tag in the billions? Especially given the… questionable details surrounding the former president. The whole thing screams of a boondoggle waiting to happen. Building two battleships in 2.5 years with experimental weapons systems? It’s the kind of timeline and technological feat that feels almost impossible in the real world.
The core of the criticism is that this is less about national defense and more about Trump wanting to see his name plastered on everything. There’s a certain narcissism at play here, and an apparent detachment from the realities of naval warfare. The idea of the USS Epstein is chilling reminder of his poor judgement. The general feeling seems to be that it’s all a desperate attempt to create a legacy, and that the aesthetic “vision” is completely out of touch with what modern naval design actually requires.
In short, these battleship plans are not being received well. The overwhelming sentiment is that they’re a ridiculous waste of resources and a monument to ego. It’s a design that seems to prioritize flash and spectacle over practicality and effectiveness. The comparison to G.I. Joe, while amusing, actually highlights the absurdity of the whole thing. It’s a design that seems to prioritize flash and spectacle over practicality and effectiveness. The general feeling is that these battleships are likely to be floating targets and a testament to ego rather than strategic naval design.