By John Q. Hosedrinker 
Satirical news outlet The Onion has acquired Infowars, the right-wing disinformation platform owned by Alex Jones, following a court order to auction off Jones’ assets to compensate families of Sandy Hook victims. The Onion intends to replace Infowars’ harmful content with humor, aiming to dismantle the platform’s legacy of spreading misinformation and exploiting tragedy. Jones has reacted angrily to the news, falsely claiming that the acquisition is being carried out by “imperial troops” while simultaneously promoting his alternative platforms. This acquisition represents a significant victory for the families of Sandy Hook victims and a step towards limiting Jones’ harmful influence.
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The Onion, the satirical news outlet known for its absurd and often hilarious headlines, has pulled off a truly remarkable feat: they’ve bought Infowars, the notorious platform for conspiracy theories and far-right propaganda, spearheaded by the infamous Alex Jones. And, as expected, Jones is fuming.
The news broke like a bombshell, sending ripples of laughter and disbelief across the internet. The Onion’s CEO, Ben Collins, gleefully announced the acquisition, stating they were excited to continue Infowars’ “storied tradition of scaring the site’s users with lies until they fork over their cold, hard cash.” He even jokingly added, “Or Bitcoin. We will also accept Bitcoin.”
Many online have celebrated this acquisition as a triumph of justice and a well-deserved comeuppance for Jones. His repeated false claims about the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre led to several lawsuits, culminating in a $1.5 billion judgment against him. A Texas judge then ruled that his assets, including the prized Infowars, could be auctioned off to pay the penalties.
While Jones is known for his fiery pronouncements and over-the-top antics, this news seems to have really gotten under his skin. He’s been ranting about “imperial troops” invading his domain and has even taken to his backup platform, Banned Video, to cry foul.
The Onion’s takeover of Infowars is a fascinating twist of fate. The satirical news source has proven that it can out-absurd even the most outrageous conspiracy theories. Will the Onion turn Infowars into a haven for genuine satire? Will it subtly deprogram its former audience, turning them away from harmful misinformation? Or will it remain a platform for spreading lies, just under a different banner?
Only time will tell what the future holds for Infowars under The Onion’s stewardship. But one thing is for sure: Alex Jones is undoubtedly the one who’s truly in for the most jarring reality check.