By John Q. Hosedrinker 
Mysterious black balls that washed up on Sydney beaches in October 2024 were discovered to be mini “fatbergs,” composed of a disturbing mix of human waste, drugs, hair, and food debris. Scientists from the University of New South Wales (UNSW) identified the balls’ composition, revealing their disgusting nature and highlighting the pollution problem in Sydney’s coastline. While authorities have investigated potential sources, including shipping spills and wastewater outflow, the exact origin of the fatbergs remains unknown. The discovery serves as a stark reminder of the impact of pollution on coastal environments.
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Black balls, resembling tar, washed up on Sydney beaches, causing quite a stir. But it wasn’t tar; it was a much more disgusting discovery: mini “fatbergs.” Imagine a cocktail of human feces, methamphetamine, human hair, fatty acids, and food waste, all mixed together in a foul-smelling, beach-polluting blob. Talk about a “buffet snack” – definitely not the kind you’d want to encounter.
The discovery of these mini fatbergs sparked a lot of discussion online. The grossness of it all is a testament to the amount of pollution that ends up in our oceans. Some people felt a sense of disgust and despair, highlighting the terrible state of our oceans and the need to clean up our act. Many commenters blamed the situation on the sewage system, recalling the infamous “Bondi Cigars” – turds surfing on the waves – a problem that Sydney used to have before fixing their sewage system.
The discovery of these “Coogee chocolates,” as they were called by some, reminded people of the extent of human pollution. We’ve dumped so much plastic and other harmful substances into the oceans that it’s hard to imagine them ever fully recovering. We are, as one commenter put it, “a vile plague on this planet.”
Others questioned the source of the pollution. The discovery of drugs like methamphetamine, in particular, sparked speculation about a possible connection to the illegal drug trade. Was this a “yacht waste” problem, or a private jet mishap? Could it be an offshore industrial spill? The comments reflected a mix of curiosity, disgust, and concern.
The news also brought up the issue of waste management, particularly the need to improve wastewater facilities. Some users suggested that the ocean currents could point to South America as the origin of the pollution. A photo of these mini fatbergs would have been helpful in understanding their size and consistency.
One commenter compared the fatbergs to “bong cleanings,” suggesting they might be made of oil. Others joked about the fatbergs being a source of “Soylent Viridiens” or “Kid Rockaballs.” The news, while horrifying, provided a platform for discussions about environmental pollution, waste management, and the consequences of our actions.
The origin of the pollution is still under investigation. The New South Wales EPA is investigating possible causes, including shipping spills or wastewater outflow. While the exact origin may remain a mystery for now, the mini fatbergs serve as a stark reminder of the impact of human pollution on our environment.