By John Q. Hosedrinker 
This article details the author’s decision to forgo her family’s traditional Texas Christmas celebration due to irreconcilable political differences stemming from the 2024 election. Influenced by a growing trend among ex-evangelicals and others reassessing holiday gatherings in the face of political polarization, the author cites past experiences of strained family relationships exacerbated by a family member’s support of a controversial political figure. The author ultimately prioritizes self-preservation and emotional well-being, choosing a more relaxed Montana Christmas with her immediate family over a potentially fraught holiday gathering. This decision is supported by advice from another individual who emphasizes prioritizing personal well-being over strained relationships.
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Yes, You Can Cancel Holiday Plans With Your Family Because Of Politics
It’s completely understandable to cancel holiday plans with family due to political differences. The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and connection, but forcing interactions with individuals whose values clash fundamentally with your own can create a deeply unpleasant and stressful experience. This isn’t about petty disagreements; it’s about protecting your mental and emotional well-being.
The notion that family should always supersede political disagreements is a myth. Many people have experienced being ostracized by family members for reasons like marrying outside their preferred racial group, choosing a different religious path, or coming out as LGBTQ+. These situations reveal that the prioritization of political ideology over family bonds is not a one-sided phenomenon. The belief that only one political side is capable of fracturing family relationships is simply inaccurate.
It’s perfectly acceptable to set boundaries and refuse to participate in events where you’ll be subjected to hateful or intolerant views. Maintaining relationships with individuals who consistently exhibit disrespect, bigotry, or a lack of basic human decency is not an obligation. Your well-being matters, and it’s essential to prioritize your mental health. Choosing to distance yourself from toxic influences is a sign of self-respect and a refusal to compromise your own values.
Political discussions don’t always have to devolve into conflict. However, when those discussions center around deeply held beliefs about human rights, equality, and basic morality – and particularly when those beliefs lead to actions that harm or dehumanize others – maintaining the relationship may be incredibly challenging, perhaps even impossible. For many, it’s not simply a disagreement over policies; it’s about reconciling the fundamental values of the other person.
Sometimes, the disagreement isn’t even about specific policy positions. It’s about a lack of empathy, a disregard for the well-being of others, and the unwillingness to engage in respectful dialogue. It’s the difference between debating tax policy and refusing to acknowledge the humanity of entire groups of people. Choosing to disengage from such interactions is not a sign of weakness; it’s a healthy and responsible choice.
The idea that one must tolerate abusive or hateful behavior simply because it’s coming from a family member is false. You are entitled to surround yourself with people who respect you, value your presence, and contribute positively to your life. Your time is precious, and you have the right to choose how you spend it. It doesn’t matter if your reason for cancelling is politics, differing viewpoints, or simply a need for a peaceful and stress-free holiday season.
There are numerous perfectly valid reasons to cancel holiday plans, regardless of their relationship to political ideology. This includes personal commitments, health concerns, financial constraints, and even simpler things like a need for rest and relaxation. The reasons behind your decision are entirely your own business, and you owe no explanation to anyone.
Many people have successfully navigated holiday seasons by spending time with different groups of people—friends, colleagues, chosen family—who share similar values and create a supportive and positive environment. These alternative gatherings can often be more meaningful and enjoyable than forced interactions with family members who are causing you stress and distress.
Ultimately, the decision to cancel holiday plans rests entirely with you. Prioritize your well-being, and remember that choosing to protect your mental and emotional health is not selfish; it’s essential. It’s your life, your time, and your choice. Don’t let anyone pressure you into compromising your values or well-being for the sake of tradition. The holidays are meant to be enjoyable; if they’re not, it’s perfectly acceptable to make adjustments to ensure they become so.