By John Q. Hosedrinker Mount Everest: Climbers will need to bring poo back to base camp
As I sit here contemplating the idea of climbers having to bring their own feces back down from Mount Everest, I can’t help but think about the absurdity of it all. But the more I reflect on it, the more it makes sense. Everything that goes up with you should come back down, right? If that’s too difficult, then maybe you shouldn’t be climbing Everest in the first place. It’s a basic principle of responsible mountaineering.
But of course, we can’t expect the wealthy climbers to carry their own shit, can we? They’ll find a way for someone else to do it for them. It’s just another burden for the already overworked sherpas. The people who risk their lives to guide these climbers up the treacherous slopes of Everest. The ones who have to bear the weight of not only the climbers’ gear but also their excrement. It’s truly unfair.
How do you even manage to take a dump when you’re wearing all those layers and gear? And what happens when there’s a queue of climbers waiting behind you? It’s a logistical nightmare. But imagine having enough money to climb the highest peak in the world, only to find yourself facing frozen feces, dead bodies, and trash everywhere. It’s like a dystopian version of Burning Man, but with freezing temperatures. It takes away from the sense of accomplishment, doesn’t it?
I can’t help but wonder why there isn’t a strict “leave no trace” policy on Everest. This mountain is being overrun by crowds of people attempting to conquer it. I bet they could charge more and make more profit by reducing the number of climbers and maintaining cleaner conditions. It’s mind-boggling that some US State Parks have stricter rules about leaving no trace than Everest does. We need to do better, as a society.
If you dive deeper into the history of Everest, you’ll come across horror stories about overflowing latrines, making them unusable for the climbers. The imagery is disgusting, to say the least. We should be holding these climbers accountable, rather than being impressed by their pointless endeavors. It’s high time we stop idolizing those who climb mountains for no reason, especially Everest.
I’ve seen proposals for “scatapults,” strategically placed catapults that would launch unsightly poocicles away from the main trails. It’s a creative solution, but it only addresses a part of the problem. We need a comprehensive plan to maintain cleanliness on Everest. It’s not just about the waste; it’s about respecting the environment and the native people who live nearby.
If we truly care about preserving Everest and ensuring it remains an achievement worth celebrating, maybe we should consider closing it for a while. Give the mountain a chance to heal and recover from the damage inflicted by years of mass tourism. And during this time, countries that have had the most climbers historically should pay a tax to the local community, helping fill the economic void.
At the end of the day, it comes down to personal responsibility. Climbers should be prepared to take everything out with them, including their own waste. It’s a simple concept of “carry in, carry out.” If you want to experience the beauty of these remote places, you must also accept the responsibility of leaving them as you found them. No more leaving a trail of trash and filth behind.
It’s time for a change on Everest. It’s time to prioritize the preservation of the environment over personal achievements and bragging rights. We can’t continue to walk past dead bodies while pollution and waste accumulate. Let’s bring everything back, and let’s fund a total clean-up of the mountain. It’s the least we can do to show respect for this majestic peak and the people who call it home.